Crocs

I'm wandering the Dallas airport and seeing that my opinion about "Crocs" is entirely correct. That is, they are terribly unsexy. They're like having a chastity belt on your feet. And I'm wearing them! How could this happen?

It's my sister's fault. As I write, I am en route to New Hampshire to join her for a few days along her epic hike up the 2200 mile Appalachian Trail. I asked her about footwear in camp in the evenings, and she told me that "everyone" wears Crocs. They're super-light, they protect your feet, they're comfy, and they prevent unwanted pregnancies on the trail. She didn't tell me about that last part, but it must be true. I can see it in the eyes of my fellow travelers here in the airport. A few minutes ago I caught a woman checking me out from top to bottom. I could read her mind: "Hmmm...that feller's not half-bad. Nice outdoorsy hat. Nice brown jacket...". Then, like I was a piece of rotten meat, her face turned green when she got to my feet. "Ugh, why do people wear those things," her mind snorted derisively. I couldn't agree more, but dang, they sure are light and my feet sure are comfy!